9th birthday party cake

Best thing to do when you just not in the mood for a birthday? Use sense of humor, always! And that’s why I am sharing with you these Hilarious Worst Birthday Ever Quotes (at the bottom of the page).

We are so used to see happy birthdays parties or celebrations on social media, right? It is expected from us to celebrate our birthdays always with joy and happiness…don’t get me wrong! Yes, getting older is a blessing of course…the other option to not getting older is not the best one haha

However, life happens and doesn’t know about dates or celebrations so, sometimes, simply put, your birthday day cannot just be a happy one!

Also, for some people and for different reasons, they just don’t want to highlight their birthday day and prefer to quietly go through it…and there is nothing wrong with that!

Worst Birthday Ever

So Friday was my 35th birthday. I was excited for 35 because I hated turning 30 so I was pretty much in mourning for that birthday. Yes I am lame and vain. 

In fact, my husband and I decided to switch birthdays that year (he is 3 months younger) because I was so bummed about not being in my twenties. 

But as the months wore on I realized something…thirties are pretty awesome. So since 35 is another big one I decided to throw myself a party.


Our Marriage Birthday Agreement

Sidenote: After years of frustration, my husband and I decided to plan our own birthdays. I am a gift lover and he is an experience lover. 

He would always plan these amazing days for me which I did not appreciate (“Where’s my gift yo?”) and I would always buy him the best gift ever (“That’s it? What else are we doing today?”). 

So for the last decade we each plan our own birthdays. Lame? Maybe…but it works for us and has created marital bliss.

So back to the worst birthday ever…

I woke up with a renewed excitement for my thirties and came down to this…


Nothing says “Happy Birthday” like rain coming from the ceiling onto your family room furniture. 

After shuffling Isaac to school, calling a plumber and the insurance company (just in case) I start wiping the ceiling and sucking up the water on the carpet (thank you Bissell). 

And I wait and I wait. 

There is nothing worse than watching your house be damaged without being able to do anything about it. So my plumber arrived (Ryan you rock!) and had to open up the ceiling.


Water heaters are supposed to last longer than 6 years. But where I am in Indiana the water is so hard that they last much less. 

Apparently there has been a slow leak, enough to corrode the drip pan underneath the water heater. Boo!

I couldn’t handle it any longer I had to get out of the house. So I strap Kayla in her car seat and ran a lame errand and hit up Long John Silvers for a fish taco and a frozen lemonade. 

Unexpected Birthday Present

Feeling a bit better with the fried yum yum in my belly I come home and I see my birthday present.


I mean how gorgeous this that? I just told you I am a gift girl. Who wouldn’t want a water heater for their 35th birthday?!?

I figured since I was dropping money I would also call someone to repair our stand up freezer. Why not make sure everything in my house is in working condition all in one day?

I felt so unproductive that I decided to install a wireless keypad just so I could feel accomplished for the day.


So I had to cancel my birthday party {sniff, sniff} and was in bed by 8:30. 

I just wanted the day to end.

So the only party I had was a pity party.  Boo hiss! It has got to get better than that right?  Here’s to 35!

Generic Worst Birthday Ever Quotes

Generic Worst Birthday Ever Quotes
“My birthday? Oh, you mean the annual reminder of how many candles I need to blow out to make a wish? Yeah, that’s always a blast.”
“I asked for a memorable birthday, not a forgettable disaster. Thanks, universe, for the mix-up.”
“You know it’s a bad birthday when even the candles on your cake refuse to stay lit. It’s like they’re protesting against aging too.”
“My birthday wish this year? To forget this day ever happened. Can we make that happen?”
“My birthday party was so boring, even the balloons looked deflated with disappointment.”
“I don’t need any more birthday presents. I’m already overwhelmed with the gift of aging.”
“Another year older, another year closer to the nursing home. Can’t wait to celebrate with tapioca pudding and bingo.”
“On my birthday, I like to reflect on all the things I haven’t achieved yet. It’s like a personal roast session.”
“I’ve had better birthdays in my Sims game. At least there, nobody forgets to wish me a happy birthday.”
“The only thing worse than a birthday cake covered in candles is realizing you’ve got more candles than cake.”

Middle Aged Women Worst Birthday Ever Quotes

Women Worst Birthday Ever Quotes
“Another year older and wiser? More like another year older and in need of stronger glasses.”
“My birthday wish this year? A magic potion to erase wrinkles and bills in equal measure.”
“My birthday celebration was like a middle-aged version of ‘Groundhog Day’ – same routine, different year.”
“You know you’re getting older when your birthday candles cost more than your cake.”
“I used to dread birthdays for the age, now I dread them for the reminders of forgotten dreams.”
“A midlife crisis on my birthday? Nah, I’m just upgrading to the deluxe edition of existential dread.”
“My birthday party theme? ‘Fifty Shades of Gray Hair.’ It’s a real thriller.”
“Birthdays are like fine wine – they get better with age. Unfortunately, so do the wrinkles.”
“Who needs a birthday cake when you have a birthday pie? Less candles to blow out, more room for ice cream.”
“On my birthday, I don’t count the years, I count the regrets. It’s a more accurate measurement of time.”

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  1. Awww man! I can’t believe you had such bad luck on your bday!! Hope you are still getting a real gift after all that! Hopefully the rest of your weekend was better, did you at least enjoy some chocolate cake or ice cream?? Happy 35th! I’ll be joining you next year 🙂 – Holly

  2. Back luck for sure….but you woke up so it made it a good day.Your kiddo’s love you and your Hubby commisetatorrrred with you….so made a date and just to a do over…..Your Birthday…with no leaky ceilings….

    Happy 35 and enjoy cause 30’s are great…but when you get to the 50’s it is all maintence!

  3. I’m so sorry! I understand how frustrating it can be and to happy on your birthday makes it the worst! Why don’t you re- celebrate next month on the same day?

  4. Happy Birthday, anyway! Sorry you had a day with repairmen. Wouldn’t be my first choice of a present but at least it was shiny!

  5. Wow let me start off by saying Happy late Birthday!

    That truly does suck about your water heater and all and having to cancel your party really does suck even more. On the bright side maybe you can plan a really exceptional birthday next year!!!

  6. Happy belated birthday- so sorry the day didn’t turn out as you would have wished.

    I had a birthday on Tuesday – not as eventful as yours- we had guests and ministry things and I had to get my drivers license renewed because it expires on your birthday (they don’t have a 30 day grace period like I am used to!). The day was so busy that we came home and I made scrambled eggs for dinner!

    I think birthdays like ours this year makes those ones that are fun even that much more special! Maybe next year!

    bee blessed

  7. Girlfriend, that does rank right up there in the annals of bad birthdays. I’m so sorry!

    But let me encourage you with this: if you thought your early thirties were great, you’re gonna love your late thirties! One of the great things about being a redhead, I think, is that our skin ages gracefully. Finally it’s the payback for all those years when our friends got savage tans and we didn’t. So you’ll look like a million bucks, plus you’ll have such self-confidence and your business will continue to be a great success. That’s my prediction for you.

    Every blessing to you!

  8. I should’nt say this but your post is pretty funny! 🙂 look at the bright side hubby could have come home with a pan for your hot water heater instead! H-Day and here’s to a great year ahead.

  9. ohh man beckie! that is awful. You’re such a cheerful person, happy to see you had a good attitude about it all… cause it is what it is, right? 🙁

    love the way y’all celebrate birthdays. Have you read the Five Love Languages? you are definitely “gifts” and the hubs appears to be “acts of service”. As long as you know your soul mate’s love language, you’ll live happily ever after!!!

    have a safe trip, and a great time in Texas!

  10. Happy Belated Birthday and I’m sorry it was sucky. Now you know that means you get two b’day make-up days, kind of like the make-up picture day back when we were in school? At least that’s my philosophy. I’m stuck on you deciding to install a wireless keypad just because. I wish I were handy like that.

  11. So sorry Beckie. Of course it had to happen on a weekend too! I hope you can continue to treat yourself for awhile. Happy Birthday!

  12. I love your idea of planning your own birthday celebration and that you and your husband recognized that you have different ways to celebrate is key. while reading your post I was thinking, oh 35 doesn’t sound bad at all…until it hit me like a ton of bricks– I will be 35 in 2 months too!! Somehow I had put it out of my mind completely and had myself stuck at 33 or even 31…but, no, I am 34 going on 35 in a quick couple of months. I am taking your route and going to plan the day to my liking then won’t have to be disappointed with the outcome… unless my 6 year old water heater acts up!! : ) Have a great week and thanks for the smiles this morning!

  13. Keep your perspective.

    – a roof over your head
    – hot clean water for cooking and bathing
    – a freezer full of food
    – a solid door to close against the elements
    – the financial means to take care of surprises

    There are a lot of folks who wish they had your worst birthday.

  14. Oh Beckie…that just plain sucks!!! I’m a regular lurker/reader, and although I don’t always comment, I felt compelled to let you know how sorry I am!!! I say you wait a week, regroup, and then have the biggest birthday party EVER!!! We’ll all be there in spirit, cheering you on!

    And I just have to tell you how much I got a kick out of reading how you had the crappiest day, and then just happened to decide to install a keypad, just to feel productive?!?! I couldn’t do that on my best day, but you just throw it together and it looks like it was professionally installed by and electrician AND a carpenter! You never cease to amaze me!!

  15. I had to cancel my 30th birthday plans because we had a HURRICANE come through town! We had a tree fall through our roof and had a ton of water damage! No power for 9 days. We ended up having to get a whole new roof and a few months later we found black mold! So not a fun birthday…

  16. Ok yours is way worse you win! But it does suck when you have something planned you are really excited about and it ends up crap. But I am alive and well, blessed beyond measure so I can’t complain!

  17. Amy haha…yes I guess I don’t realize what a freak I am until you put it that way…haha! But it did feel good to actually put something together while my house was falling apart I guess. Thanks for taking time to comment Amy.

  18. HAHA…yes sometimes I don’t realize how weird I am until it comes out of my mouth. Yep I had to feel productive so I installed a garage keypad…what a weirdo. HA!

  19. I love that book, it radically changed our relationship and it was one of those aha moments. My hubby and I do some pre-marital counseling and always recommend that book

  20. of COURSE you can complain! not much drives me more nuts than plans getting canceled. I’m lucky that I didn’t have a party to cancel, just a friend coming into town whose flight got canceled. In the end we used her ticket to go to New York together for a weekend!

  21. Sorry for the lame birthday Beckie! On my 17th birthday, I got hit in the head with a baseball bat which knocked me out cold & sent me to the ER for ~20 stitches in my forehead and I had to stay overnight for observation since I was actually unconscious for a bit…and lucky-lucky a funnel cloud was sighted near the hospital, so everyone got wheeled out of their room and stuck in the hallway until the sirens stopped. Not exactly a dream 17th b-day! The great thing about craptacular birthdays is that they make awesome stories to tell your kids LOL And after a bummer birthday, they can only get better from there on out, right?! Enjoy 35!!!

  22. Ok that one ups me. I would rather have a hole in my ceiling than in my head. HA! That is so true. i will never forget my 35th birthday!

  23. Terrible luck on your birthday means you have that much less bad stuff to deal with for the rest of your 35th year! I feel the same way about New Year’s Day. You can’t let one day determine how you will feel the rest of the year 🙂

  24. Happy Belated Birthday Beckie~~I am late as usual, so the day you read this is the day to celebrate your 35th!! I just had my 52nd! And I spent it away from Hubs to attend my cousin’s funeral in another state. AND in a foot cast! I think I’ll try to celebrate it again in another month..whenever I need cheering up!

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