My dear children,
There’s something I’ve wanted to share with you for a while—something that shaped our family in ways I hope you’ll one day understand. I know you’ve had questions about why your father and I divorced, and I think it’s time I gave you my honest answer.
It wasn’t because we didn’t love you. It wasn’t because of some sudden catastrophe. It was because I wasn’t happy anymore, and I knew I couldn’t be the mother or the person I wanted to be if I stayed in a marriage that no longer worked.
For years, I struggled with the idea of divorce. Marriage is often treated like this unbreakable, sacred vow—something you must endure no matter how painful or empty it becomes.
But over time, I realized that marriage, at its core, is not sacred. It’s a contract. A piece of paper. What’s truly sacred is the commitment you make to yourself—to honor your own needs, your happiness, and your integrity.
Your father and I made a different kind of sacred promise when we had you. We promised to love you unconditionally, to co-parent with care and respect, and to create a safe and loving environment for you.
I realized that staying in a dysfunctional marriage wasn’t fulfilling that promise. If anything, it risked teaching you the wrong lessons about love, partnership, and self-worth.
I want you to understand this deeply: staying in a situation that drains you, just to meet society’s expectations or avoid judgment, is not a sign of strength.
True strength is having the courage to step away when something no longer serves you—even if it’s scary, even if it’s messy.
Happiness is not selfish. It’s essential. And it’s not just for you—it’s for everyone you love.
When I decided to leave, it wasn’t just for me. It was for you, too. I wanted you to grow up seeing a mother who chose honesty and authenticity over appearances.
A mother who wasn’t afraid to admit when something wasn’t working and take the steps to fix it.
I hope that if you ever find yourselves in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you, you will remember this.
Don’t stay for the wrong reasons—fear, guilt, or the desire to please others.
Your happiness, your peace, and your ability to love fully and authentically are far more important than maintaining a façade.
That said, I want you to know how much I value the co-parenting relationship your father and I built after our divorce.
While our marriage ended, our shared commitment to raising you never wavered. We chose to respect and support each other as parents because we both love you fiercely. This wasn’t always easy, but it was worth it.
Life isn’t about following someone else’s rules or living up to someone else’s idea of what’s “right.”
It’s about honoring your truth and creating a life that feels meaningful to you. That’s what I hope you’ll take from this chapter of our family’s story.
I want you to find love, joy, and connection in your relationships. But above all, I want you to love yourselves enough to choose happiness—even if that means making hard decisions.
With all my love,
Mom
