Operation Restoration: Life Edition Part 5

Denise is back sharing part 5 of their story as part of Operation Restoration: Home Edition.  Today is the toughest day for her to share without a doubt.  I know she has felt a range of emotion writing out her story.  But with complete courage and trust in God she writes…


At home, I didn’t like how things were going either. Patrick seemed very critical of me all of the sudden. I found us arguing over silly things. There we were, back to the less engaged dad and husband.  And I kicked into my mode of being passive and keeping it in. When we did argue, somehow she’d make it into the argument. So I confronted him on several occasions about what I saw. He assured me I was seeing things.

After one KEY instance I had to confront her again. (sorry for the vagueness, but out of respect for everyone I have to be) She sat across from me crying, apologizing and saying she would never hurt me…

As you read this you’re probably wondering why in the crap did you continue to be “friends” with this person? Why did you continue to hang out? Well, let me just say there was more to it. Who she was in our circle of friends wasn’t as easy as just saying “Sayonara chick.” Don’t forget my husband is still in charge of the mission and a pastor of a newly planted church. He wouldn’t do anything stupid and risk all that – not to mention his family!!

I had been praying and praying for wisdom. I knew something was wrong, I hated the feelings and doubts I was having. I hated the lack of sleep I was dealing with and horrible dreams when I was getting sleep. I hated feeling alone in my mess of emotions. I hated to think that the truth could be something I never would have imagined. After all, we were the fun-loving couple. He adored me right? I hated that my gut felt so differently.

Just a few days later there was a get together with the group of friends. We made it home early and I felt so twisted inside. I remember sitting in my chair that night thinking what in the world has taken place? I’ve only known these people a few very short months. We gelled so quickly. I had no qualms about the other couples. Like I said, they were genuine and I felt like they had my back. But, SHE, I was pretty sure was a snake in the grass. I sat that night thinking and rethinking, playing and replaying things in my head. Was I nuts?

It was kind of early for a Friday night, but I had a headache and was emotionally drained. I was going to bed, the kids were watching a movie and Patrick was on the computer. This had been the norm as of late, he stayed up late to “do work”, while I headed off to bed. I remember laying there but not being able to remotely let go of the thoughts swirling in my head. Then, I heard our car start and then leave. I got up and asked our oldest where dad had gone and she said she didn’t know. That was odd. He just got up and left and didn’t even bother to tell his child in the same room where he went? My gut got tighter and tighter, I just knew something wasn’t right and that the bottom seemed to be giving way.

About twenty minutes later I heard the car pull back into the drive. I sat in bed, awaiting his return. He walked in the bedroom and acted as if he was headed somewhere. I asked him where he went and he said to take a phone call (we had horrible phone reception at our house). I boldly asked if he talked to HER. He said yes, and the anger started to swell over me like I’d never felt before. My heart was pounding and I braced myself. He sat on the edge of the bed and with a shaky voice, but matter of factly said, “Denise, I can’t lie to you anymore, I’ve been having an affair for two months.”

Yes the bottom had just fallen out…



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