Infarrantly Creative: REAL and RAW Part 3

Real and Raw Part 1
Read and Raw Part 2

Amanda started a rumor that I was a lesbian. When I say it changed my life, I mean IT. CHANGED. MY. LIFE. This rumor followed me for 7 years. She made up all sorts of far-fetched tails proving her accusation. I am not sure that anyone really believed it or if it was just something that could be said to wound a young heart. My little “out” group dwindled to just Jen Jen and I.

Ahhhh….faithful Jen Jen. She stuck by my side through thick and thin. She was the sweetest person and adored me no matter what. Everyday she would sit by me on the bus regardless of what was said about me that day in school. We would spend the night at each other’s houses practically every weekend often staying up late playing Monopoly in the closet so my parents wouldn’t see the light on.

On the homefront, our house seemed to be the hub for our large extended family. My Uncle Geno was in college and would always visit and hang out with Pedes and myself in exchange for a homecooked meal. Uncle Geno was awesome. He took me on long bike rides, taught me to fish, took me camping, tutored me in math, and listened to my little girl dreams. Since my dad worked a lot he kind of filled that void for a father figure in my life. He would spend hours helping me to improve my pitching and would hit ground balls until I learned to get my glove down. You learn to get your glove down after you get about 15 softballs bashed into your shin. I loved my Uncle Geno and was so grateful for his male influence in my life.

I immersed myself into sports. I found my identity in being the best in my class at each sport that was offered. I got a lot of “atta girls” and reveled in the positive attention. I craved competition and felt a huge sense of victory after scoring the most points in any given game.

I also would draw and do art projects. I loved using oil pastels and colored pencils. I made God’s eyes out of yarn and tree branches. I sold embroidery floss bracelets around my neighborhood. I would bring the bracelets to school and tie them to the books in my desk and work on them during school when the teacher wasn’t looking. I would take them out on the playground during recess and Jen Jen and I would create away. In sixth grade, to avoid the playground I asked the second grade teacher if I could be her aide during recess and grade papers for her. I think I fed her the line that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. In all honesty I just didn’t know what to do with myself during recess.

After a year and a half I was done. I loathed going to school. I would try to avoid going by feigning sickness. My mother caught on and questioned me. I finally broke down and told her what was going on. My mom called Sister Katrina (the principal) to talk to her about the situation and she told my mom that my class of girls was the “meanest and cattiest” group of girls she had ever seen. They instituted a “no tolerance” rule of making fun of one another. It didn’t help. The mean girls just got more creative in their taunting. I begged my mom to allow me to switch schools. She finally conceded as long as I agreed to one stipulation. If she allowed me to switch to a public school for middle school I had to go back to the Catholic high school my freshmen year. So after one quarter of seventh grade I switched to a public middle school.

Now I was the no longer the “out” girl I was the “new” girl…

Click here to read REAL and RAW Part 4

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  1. Mabry's gamma says:


    I am reading Your life and my heart just breaks for what you went through. I hope your sequels get better. Do you ever see this girl that was so mean to you? IF you do, maybe the opportunity will present itself to remind her how awful of a child she was. Maybe she will then apologize to you.

  2. I was wondering the same thing. Do you know her still? Have you seen her since?

    My sweet Becki, I hate this story! At least I know EVENTUALLY this turn for the better. I just can’t wait for that to happen and I don’t want this little girl to go through any more “mean girl” stuff.

  3. i love this story. I had a brother that committed suicide whene I was 12. The summer before 8th grade. When school resumed in September(remember those days…September not August)all the kids made fun of me and would use hand signals for shooting themselves.
    Kids are so mean. I believe in my heart of hearts that changed who I was forever.
    I’m so glad you are talking about this mean kid thing.
    It really does have to stop.
    Can’t wait to read what comes next!
    Happy Easter~

  4. The Ousdahls says:

    Oh my WORD!!! Such a terrible thing for you to have gone through. I am looking forward to seeing how God used it to make you a better person and the wonderful person that you are today!!

    How did you keep from telling your Mom about this for SOO long??



  5. Why didn’t you go to your parents sooner?

    What a terrible rumor. Was there any part of you that wanted to punch her?

  6. You poor thing…

    I can’t wait/dread to read more!

  7. It’s the truth, kids are mean. It’s a shame too… early on the sin nature rears it’s ugly head. : ( Sorry for all the mean girls that crossed your path… you didn’t deserve it.

    I would’ve been your friend… I just know it. : )

  8. Thank you for your honesty. I was a girl much like you, instead of hiding in a 2nd grade classroom I hid in the library. Being a “tween” is the hardest time in every girl’s life. I can’t wait to read the rest of your life story. I know it has a happy ending, because mine definitely does.

  9. I totally remember making bracelets and lanyards. Linds always caught on so easily and I always struggled. I couldn’t understand how you both could do it so easily. Then linds pointed out that I was doing everything left handed like you. Aaaaahhhh…no wonder it was so difficult. Doh! Those were good times though.

  10. I am so sorry! I actually had someone spread some NASTY rumors about me in high school too and she was once my GOOD friend. It hurts! Even now it bothers me to think about it. When I see pictures of myself back then it brings back some of those feelings.

    I am so glad you shared this. As mothers we need to recognize that this is going on. Either our daughters are the ones in pain and being teased, or are in pain and doing the teasing.

    This is an issue that all mothers need to be aware of for the sake of all kids. Can't wait to read more. I am sure it has a good ending because of the person you have become!

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