Infarrantly Creative: REAL and RAW Part 5

Real and Raw Part 1
Real and Raw Part 2
Real and Raw Part 3
Read and Raw Part 4

I was wearing a midriff showing shirt. (Yes… I changed into this shirt at school. Yes… my parents had no clue that I changed clothes before and after school and washed the pound of makeup off my face everyday. My mother would have killed me if she saw me in it). Somewhere between the cat-scratching and lame girl punches Vonya got a hold of my shirt and pulled it over my head. About 100 people got to see my hot pink training bra.

I. WANTED. TO. DIE. RIGHT. THERE.

Of course I was the talk of the school for that one. Even in high school people asked “Are you the girl that got her shirt pulled over her head in a fight in middle school?” Yes that was me. Doesn’t anyone remember the 26 points a game I scored at each basketball game? Or the MVP award I won for volleyball? Nope, I was the girl who showed the world her training bra. Awesome…

I decided I would learn how to fight in case that happened again. And it did…two more times that year. Not for a slam book this time. Brandy picked a fight with me because her boyfriend told her I was cute. How is that my fault? And Ronnie hated me because I took her place on the basketball team and she rode the bench that year. That year I became a tough girl. I would get in these fights and something in my brain snapped. I would tell myself to stop and that I was hurting them but I kept hitting them. I was done being the girl who just took it. I decided to hit back. It seemed like a better way for me to deal with conflict than to just pretend like nothing happened or to just allow people to treat me like dirt.

I went through a couple of suspensions and detentions for fighting or threatening to fight someone. By the end of my eighth grade year I knew there was no hope in begging my parents to send me to public high school. My personality had changed so much in those two years that the little sweet girl who left that Catholic school was unrecognizable. I hid much of who I was from my parents because I didn’t want to face the fact that I was going against the values they had instilled in me.

I enjoyed my last summer being a public school kid before I started Catholic high school. I dreaded each day of that summer that went by knowing I would have to interact with all those same kids that I left in seventh grade. I was grounded all the time it seemed like. I was sneaky and definitely could not be trusted. I broke my parents trust in me on numerous occassions. My mom would ground me from the phone and I would buy a phone at the store and keep in under my mattress and plug it in when my parents would go to bed. I would get caught and be grounded two more weeks.

August rolled around and I went to school two weeks early to start volleyball practice.

HELLO FOOTBALL PLAYERS! Hello, SENIOR football players!

I flirted and flirted and flirted some more until I got noticed by one of them. My plan of attack: gets any many boys interested in me as possible. I would bat my eyelashes, come out in my short volleyball shorts and smile all innocently. Yes, I was one of those girls you would have loved to hate. It worked. Pat, the senior quarterback asked me out. To be honest I didn’t really like him that much. He was nice and treated me wonderfully. But all I knew is that I needed to have a boyfriend, preferably an older one with a lot of power in order to defeat the rumor which I knew was coming.


Amanda ended up going to the public high school but Marissa and her fan club were at the Catholic high school. I saw all the same kids that I had left two years ago. Since I started the year dating Pat they were all nice to me to my face. I remember about a month into school my new friend Jill, who I had met at volleyball practice, said she heard a rumor about me. Of course I knew what it was. She asked me if it was true. I told her no and asked who she heard it from and she told me Lexi. I said “Who is Lexi?” It took me a week to figure out that Lexi sat two seats away from me in Spanish class. I had never even met this girl and she was passing this rumor around? She didn’t even know me!

I. FLIPPED. A. LID.

So I went up to her in school and started pushing her into a locker. She was so scared, I could see it in her eyes. And she literally ran away. I felt a sense of victory. It didn’t help at all. The rumor still spread. The three girls that were responsible for making sure everyone knew were Lexi, Aleah, and Callie. I hated these three girls with passion.

That year the rumor spread like wild fire. However, I didn’t really care. I didn’t hang out with any freshmen except Jill anyway. Jill and I both were dating seniors and we pretty much lived for sports and hanging out with upperclassmen. I kind of hid behind that veneer of safety. The seniors didn’t really care about the rumor and obviously it was not true if I were dating a guy. Duh! I just didn’t let menial freshmen gossip bother me and I actually believed I was better than them. I would go throughout my day and pretend like nothing penetrated my tough exterior.

Freshmen year was pretty uneventful. Then came my sophomore year. To say it was the worst year of high school would be an understatement. I would not wish what I went through that year on my worst enemy…

Click here to read REAL and RAW Part 6





Comments

  1. I never heard the story about the shirt over your head!!! Ohmygosh Beck! I feel your pain. I died READING it, I couldn’t IMAGINE GOING THROUGH it! Yikes. So sorry.

    So I’m learning a lot about my older cousin..hmmm. We have to chat. Make sure to mention the story in college where you were walking and ended up decking the guy and running (you know what story I’m talking about…it’s my favorite. You’re my hero)

    love ya!

  2. Have you ever thought about writing a memoir about your teen years? I think this series you are writing is great. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Sarah @ Thrifty Decor Chick says:

    Ohhhh you were an underclassmen who dated a senior!!! HA! All the senior girls at my school hated that. I still think that’s funny. I love reading this!

  4. Keep it coming!!!
    Love this!!!!!

  5. oh my goodness!!!! And then you just keep leaving us hanging. Will Kayla read this story someday?

  6. Mabry's gamma says:

    Becki,

    You really had some rough teenage years and I thought mine were bad. Can’t wait to read your next story. Is your mom hearing about some of this stuff for the first time?

    Cheri

  7. That Girl says:

    I am really enjoying reading your story too!

  8. Really fascinating! Your stories stir up a LOT of my own school stories… ick! But I still can’t stay away… be back tomorrow!
    ~Jill

  9. I have always loved your blog (being a fellow crafty person), but I am especially enjoying these stories. You are a great writer! I feel for you and the things you went through! Can’t wait to read some more tomorrow!

  10. Mom in High Heels says:

    Man, you sure know how to leave us hanging! I need to know about sophomore year! NOW!
    I went to a Catholic HS, but it was all girls. I actually liked not having boys around for the most part, but I hated not being able to see my boyfriend during the day. We worked together and I ended up giving his younger sister a ride to school (she was a Freshman my Senior year), so I usually saw him briefly before school (he’d run out to my car and give me a quick kiss) and when I dropped her off after school. I did actually see quite a lot of him, I guess, but no smooches between classes.
    Your experience with Catholic school was so very different than mine. I’m thinking we were in HS around the same time. I too had really big bangs and pegged pants. What were we thinking? I graduated in 91, BTW.

  11. Coloradolady says:

    It is amazing how mean kids can be…what a reminder.

  12. Wow!

    Senior boys always liked the freshman girls! At least it was true at my school.

    Sophomore year is aweful, whether you have rumors about you or not, it really is uneventful. You know the saying “Sophomore Slums”.

  13. K. Tacher says:

    Wow, my high school memories aren’t this eventful! Thanks for posting – it’s fun to read! Great writing!
    lol, will your parents be reading this or do they already know the Real and Raw story? =)

  14. Hmmmm………um…..welp…..I dunno……..but I'm wondering…

    WHERE THE HECK WAS I WHEN YOU WERE KISSING THE BOYZZ AND DRESSING LIKE A STRIPPER? I thought I was watching you and your sister like a hawk! #*%&@!

    You are soooo grounded, missy!

  15. I’m dying to know…

    What have you decided for schooling for your own kids?

  16. Ok…I’m impressed with a few things: 1. that you can type this much with a bandaged hand.
    2. that you have so many school photographs at your disposal
    3. that you can remember so much from that time in your life. High school was just a boring blur of years. (for which I apparently should be grateful)

    PS your mom’s comment is hilarious

  17. Kids are so mean! And when I say “kids” I mean you too! :)

    I can’t wait to read more!!!

    When my daughter wants to wear a midriff, I’m going to tell her your story!

  18. Ellen R. says:

    I’m dying in anticipation for the next installment!!!!

  19. Wow, I had some bad times too. Hoping my daughters don’t experience any of it.

  20. I was wondering when your mom was going to chime in. : ) Hmm… you may have another problem on your hands when you are finished sharing. : )

  21. Vivienne says:

    I just got caught up after reading Part 1 on Friday.
    Amazing recall and insight. (And amazing this is with one hand.) You reflect so many experiences that resonate with each of us on some level.
    I am fascinated and can’t wait to read more.

  22. everydayeclecticism says:

    Awe come on…I was hoping to find the next chapter today. Waiting patiently to hear “the rest of the story”.

    smiles,
    Angie in SC
    Everyday Eclecticism

  23. Elizabeth :) says:

    Now THIS is a good way to spend your healing time! I love reading this, thank you so much for allowing us to read this! :)

  24. What a thriller!!

  25. Wow, Beckie, I had no idea. To be around you, I would have never thought you experienced what you have. You are very open and not closed off to people. Obviously you have allowed God to heal the hurts in your life. Thanks for sharing your story and for being so transparent. I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.

  26. I’m coming over from Lee Ann’s blog. This is as far as I’ve made it in your story, but it is definitly a great read! Thanks for being willing to share such a personal story. I am enjoying it immensely and hope there is a happy ending in sight. I’ll be back for sure.

  27. You were one tough chick! Good for you! I am dying laughing at some of this!

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