My honey and I have been married for 10 1/2 years. I can honestly say I would marry him all over again. He is my best friend, love of my life– my soulmate. One of the things I love most about my marriage is our communication. Both of us have worked hard to learn how to communicate our thoughts, feelings and needs in a healthy way. Because of this we don’t really fight. We argue, get frustrated… disagree. We don’t raise our voices, call each other names or throw things at each other. I feel like we talk through issues without stuffing our feelings or blowing up at each other.
However, for the first 7 years of marriage we had the same hiccup every quarter. It became kind of comical. It goes like this. I would ask Tim to do something (take some big item to the dump, clean out his closet, move something upstairs or to the attic, take something to Goodwill, etc). You know those mundane kind of tasks. What would happen is Tim would forget. He has the best of intentions with the worst memory. I, in turn, would get frustrated and start to think irrational women thoughts,
“If he thought about me once during the day he would remember that I asked him to bring a gallon of milk home.”
“If he loved me as much as I love him he would have taken that pile to Goodwill today.”
“I know he saw that huge box that needs to go to the dump right in front of him and he is ignoring it and trying to tick me off.”
All of those above statements were not true. He does love me. He does think about me during the day (it just has nothing to do with a gallon of milk , and he isn’t trying to get back at me or tick me off.
We became stuck between forgetfulness and nagging. NOT A FUN PLACE TO BE for either of us. So somewhere along the way we got the idea. How about a reminder board (as he calls it). How about a nag board (as I call it).
1. When I write something on there I forget about it. I don’t stew until it gets done. Once it is on the board I free Tim to get it done.
2. He has three days to get the task on the board done unless otherwise agreed upon.
3. After 3 days if it is not done he has to drop everything and do it right then and there.
It works great…he is reminded and I know I will get that thing done within 3 days. 99% of the time it is one in 1 day. I think I only got to act on #3 twice. Pure bliss! However, we have struggled in our new house to find a place to put the board where he sees it. So he came up with the brilliant idea…HIS COFFEE CABINET!
Now I just have to make some cute coffee push pins like this (minus the magnet add a thumbtack) and find some things for dear hubs to do!